Recently, there has been a lot of hubbub about the
type of people immigrating to the United States Most of the talk is about who
we shouldn’t let in. I’m here to tell
you who we should welcome.
Plain and simple, we need to encourage more people
with psychic powers to come to America. According to studies I have seen, we
are not producing enough psychics domestically to meet 21st century
demands. Soon, other nations that value paranormal powers, like Russia, Nigeria
and Romania, will surpass us in the number of psychically talented citizens
they possess.
And that scares the hell out of me.
The solution? We need to encourage foreigners with
mystical abilities to move here A.S.A.P., to make up for our domestic
shortfall. America needs to do this in order to maintain a leadership role in
UFO research, fortune-telling, ghost-hunting, ESP and other vital endeavors.
This is a national security issue of the highest order. We must take action
now, to keep our beloved nation safe from a surprise psychic attack launched
from foreign shores.
What the incentive should be, I leave to persons more
knowledgeable about such things. Perhaps it should be on a graduated scale
depending on the psychic ability under question. For example, overseas UFO
experts might receive a $10,000 bonus to move here, while crystal ball readers
only get $2,000 cash, because we already have a sizable number of European
gypsies in run-down urban strip malls.
Above all, psychic immigrants should receive instant
U.S. citizenship, without the usual red tape. Case in point: right now hundreds
of experienced South American Chupacabra fighters now languish in border camps,
when they could be gainfully employed preventing the hideous night beasts from
infesting U.S. soil.
IMHO this is an emergency situation. Lady Liberty
needs to welcome foreign psychics with open arms, whether they arrive here via
land, sea, air or the astral plane.
I’m afraid that we face total destruction in a psychic
Pearl Harbor or 9/11 if we do not act.
And, regardless of race, creed, color or political
persuasion, that is frightening for us all.
Signed,
A Reader in Massachusetts
