Edgar Allan Poe Community College

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Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Charity Séance Collects Dollars from the Dead.

     A marathon, 24-hour séance has collected $1,763 to repair cracked crystal balls for indigent soothsayers, according to Heatherleen Glade, teaching assistant, Past Life Therapy at Edgar Allan Poe Community College.
    Heatherleen said the event took place in a Las Vegas hotel room about 75 miles from the EAPCC campus.
    “It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience,” Heatherleen told this reporter. “Fifteen of us held hands in a circle for 24 hours, surrounded by candles and the lively sounds of a Lindsay Stirling CD playing over and over again. The ever repeating music, while tedious in the extreme, did draw the attention of the leaping violinist’s many deceased fans.”
     Continued Heatherleen, “The money arrived in various ways. Typically a spirit would reveal where they had concealed cash when they were alive. Hundreds of dollars were found stashed inside VHS players, taped beneath cookie jars and at the bottom of urns filled with the ashes of loved ones.”
     Heatherleen said the lengthy séance tested the mettle of everyone involved. “We knew that if we broke the circle, many of the spirits would lose interest and go away. So we held hands continuously for all 24 hours, even during comfort breaks, when all fifteen of us would shuffle into the bathroom, turning our heads as each went to the toilet.
     “And holding hands throughout the séance created awkward moments at mealtime. Since we couldn’t grasp the food, it was shoved into our mouths by assistants who had cut it into bite-sized pieces. Drinking-wise, beverage containers were held beneath our chins and we sucked up the refreshing liquids through straws. All-in-all, the food was pretty good.”
     And how would Heatherleen feel about participating in another such lengthy séance?
     “At about the 12-hour mark my mind was screaming ‘never again!’ But know that I’ve had time to recover, I’m game to perform more charity work. Good deeds aren’t always easy!”
--reported by Doc Paranormal