About Us

Welcome to the home page of Edgar Allan Poe Community College. We’re a paranormal trade school located in the charming desert town of Pahrump, Nevada. Nestled between sunny Death Valley and the historic Nevada Proving Grounds, site of 900 nuclear explosions, and at the epicenter of Nye County’s thriving brothel industry, EAPCC offers an unparalleled range of educational and recreational opportunities. Graduates earn an associates degree in the Applied Psychic Arts across a variety of disciplines. Students range from unemployed construction workers looking to retrain, moody girls with “artistic temperaments,” moms who want to track their children with ESP rather than GPS units and failed jocks facing a lifetime without cheers. And that’s only a sampling of EAPCC’s diverse student body. Faculty members are physically on campus or telecommute to the classroom via astral plane or bilocation.

The origins of EAPCC are currently unknown. One day students simply began showing up at an undistinguished bungalow that popped up overnight on a lot owned by no one, according to Nye County records. The building was later found to be an exact replica of the house thought vaporized in a 1955 A-bomb test a stone’s throw across the mountains at the Nevada Proving Grounds. Inside the 443 square-foot hovel is a sprawling 15-acre campus, complete with classrooms, well-stocked library, multiple research labs, cafeteria, beach volleyball courts and Olympic-length swimming pool.

But perhaps the most unique facet of EAPCC’s grand plan is its unique financial structure. With undergraduates across the United States burdened by monumental student loans, EAPCC offers a new paradigm: Free Tuition. How can we do that while offering a world-class educational experience? The answer is painfully simple: Upon obtaining a job, EAPCC grads pay the school a 2% cut of their salary for the duration of employment.

And faculty? Well, all are adjunct—on contract— to be paid from a pool of monies to be determined by their role in their students’ eventual success. Unconventional? Yes. Does it work? Time will tell—as EAPCC graduates begin to enter the workforce. What is undeniable though, is the subtle, but energizing pressure it places on teaching staff to foster student achievement.

Well, that’s the nuts & bolts. How about the people? Explore our Faculty and Student pages!

Yours Truly,

Peter Fenton
Janitor