By 2021, at the latest, scientists expect an Artificial Personality product to be available for individuals who have been professionally diagnosed as wallflowers or bores.
The device, available by prescription only, will sell for roughly $2,700. It will come in about 15 personalities, from coy and shy to ruthless and bold.
Once injected, an individual will assume his or her new personality for approximately 4 hours, though a timed-release version lasting up to 36 hours (think Cialis), is already in development.
Thus, for the first time in human history, dullards will be able to enjoy vivacious personalities unlike their own--with applications for romance, career advancement and, alas, politics.
posted by Doc Paranormal
Adjunct Professor of Esoteric Science
Edgar Allan Poe Community College